insert humorous crazy odd weird title here
by VelvetLockheart
Summary: NOODLE! Updated with the 8th chapter up! Yay! Can this get any more crazy! Of course!
1. Curse the Broken PS2 of Touga!

^_^ Okay, minna, I know I'm working on my other fics, so thats why I'm saying ahead of time that you MIGHT not see the next chappy for a while. ^^; But I'll try my very best! This is a Utena RPG thingy, and it's supposed to be really funny, ^^; and usually my funny stuff is actually funny, so, heh, yay! Oh, and also, anything that's not mine in here belongs to someone else!!! ^^ Hope you enjoy it!  
  
WARNING: humor, may include falling out of chairs and shortness of breath, Out of characterness, made up words, and weirdness!!!!!!!!!  
***************************************  
We start with the image of a young, pink-haired girl tossing a rock in her left hand as she sits on a bench in a park.   
Utena: Man, this day can't get any boringer.  
Anthy: Miss Utena, I believe "boringer" is not a word.  
Utena: Yeah, yeah, yeah  
Touga: Well, hello there, Utena.  
Anthy: *coughs*  
Touga: Oh, and yes, of course, Himemiya.  
Anthy: Ya know, I dont get it, why does everyone keep calling me Himemiya. I know it's my last name and all, and because that's sometimes how the Japanese do stuff, but sheesh, *looks to the readers* Do you see any Japanese words on this computeristic sheet of blank paper?!  
Utena: *nudges Anthy in the gut* Fourth Wall!  
Anthy: Didnt think so! And why does everyone want something they cant have when they know they can't have it?! and why was *I* chosen as the Rose Bride? And why can't it be Rose Princess? because I get engaged to someone?   
Utena: ANTHY!  
Anthy: Oh, ^_^ yes, Miss Utena?  
Touga: -____-  
Utena: Calm. DOWN.  
Anthy: Yes, Miss Utena. *starts doing Yoga*  
Utena: o_0 Anthy?  
Anthy: Yes, Miss Utena?   
Utena: Please tell us-  
Touga: UTENA!  
Utena: -.- yes, Kiryuu?  
Touga: ^^ I got ya a present!  
Utena: -_- oh you did, did you?   
Touga: ^____________^ Here, Utena!!! *gives Utena a PS2*  
Utena: Ooooohhhhh.... For me, Touga?  
Touga: Well, actually, I just wanted you to try and fix it. Saionji went into a temper again when we were playing it at a Student Council meeting.  
Anthy: Aren't Student Council meetings supposed to be where you talk about what you wanna change?  
Touga: Nope. ^^ We do ABSOLUTELY NOTHING at a Student Council meeting. ^^ Juri just sits there playing with her locket, Miki does his homework and makes us annoyed with his stopwatch, and I just sit there talk on my cell phone with the pretty girls of Ohtori. ^^  
Utena: -_- Go figure..  
Anthy: *valley-girl talk* Uhh, Seriously!  
Utena: o_0  
Touga: 0_o  
Saionji: THE PHAAAAAAAAANTOM OF THE OPERA IS THEEEERE!! INSIDE MY MASHED POTATOES!!!! No, wait, that's not right, it was French-no, that's right- FREEDOM fries. -_- Yesh, so it was Capitalized "T" The capitalized "P" Phantom of the capital "O" Opera is there, dot dot dot, inside my freedom fries! Yeah! Okay!   
Anthy: ^_^ Mister Saionji?  
Saionji: Yesh, Anthy?  
Anthy: What in the WORLD are you doing?  
Saionji: ^^ Singing opera.  
Anthy: Oh, okay.  
Saionji: THE PHAAAAANTOM OF THE OPERA IS THERE, INSIDE MY FREEEDOM FRIES! No, why doesnt that sound right either...  
Utena: o_o isn't the Phantom of the Opera supposed to be inside your mind?  
Saionji: NO, Silly Utena! That sounds TOTALLY wrong! What bimbo would make the Phantom of the Opera inside someone's mind?! TOTALLY INCORRECT if you ask me, the most prettiest Opera singer of all time! *grabs a mirror and fixes his hair*  
Anthy: o___o  
Miki:*clicks his stopwatch* It appears that Saionji has become rather idiotic.  
Anthy: ^^ Hello, Miss Kozu-er- Sir Miki. ^_^  
Miki: Yo, wassap, my homies!  
Touga: o_0 Miki?  
Utena: o_o Miki?  
Anthy: O_O Miki?   
Miki: Sorry, I wanted to give the punk thing a try.   
Anthy: Umm.. Miki?  
Miki: Yesh?  
Anthy: *whispers loudly* You failed miserably.   
Miki: Miwa. ;_;  
Mikage: *gasps* UTENA TENJOU!   
Utena: *gasps* MIKAGE SOUJI! Er.. SOUJI MIKAGE!  
Saionji: If you're going to be that way, Miss Ute-er-Utena, then you might as well call me Kyouichi!   
Utena: ^^ Okay!  
*the little "name this character!" thing pops up with Saionji's face in a little box*  
Utena: Now let's seee... *goes around the screen and presses the buttons until it says "Kyouichi" on it*  
Kyouichi: o_0  
Miki: Woah! That's awesome, U-dog!  
Utena: U-dog?  
Miki: Okay, I'll stop. *clicks his stopwatch*  
Juri: ^^ Happy Birthday, Miki!!!!  
Anthy: Miki, I didnt know it was your birthday.  
Miki: @_@ neither did I....  
Juri: *multiplies herself* Happy, Happy Birthday! From all of us to you! We wish it was our birthday, so we could party too, Noodle! *all of the Juris do poses*  
Miki: o_o  
Juri: Tee hee!   
Utena: o_o Juri's become a happy-go-lucky-crazy-annoying-stubborn-cheererupper-girl-that-appears-in-just-about-every-game-in-the-world!  
Juri: ^^ Tee hee!  
Touga: Yup. FF7=Yuffie, FF8=Selphie, FF9=Eiko, FFX=Rikku, Kingdom Hearts=..Yuffie, LOD=Meru, Bouncer=Dominique, and so forth.   
Utena: *hears Kyouichi selling Bath & Body Works body lotions* Oh dear...  
Saionji: *has changed his name back to normal* COME GET YOUR FREE BATH&BODY WORKS BODY LOTIONS! ONLY $800000000000000 DOLLARS! DONT LOOK AT ME! LOOK IN MY WALLET!   
Unknown kid with their mommy: Mommy, who's that man selling lotion?  
Mommy: Just don't look at him in the eye, sweety.  
Utena, Touga, Anthy, Miki, Juri, and Mikage: *snickers*  
Saionji: Another job ruined..  
Utena: *starts doodling with the PS2*   
Touga: Yay! The heroic Prince is going to save my dearest PS2!  
Utena: o_0.. *touches something on the PS2 and it explodes, knocking out everyone*  
*After a couple of hours*  
  
Utena: *wakes up* Hey, Anthy, Touga, Saionji, Juri, Miki, Mikage.. o_0 *wakes them all up*  
Touga: AH!!!!!!!!! MY HANDS ARE MADE OUT OF LITTLE GAME SPRITE SQUARES!  
Juri: Dude, I'm a game sprite!  
Miki: My stopwatch looks like a black cockroach or something... ;_;  
Saionji: My hair!! OOooh, what happened to my beautiful hair!  
Anthy: My glasses look really weird.. @_@  
Mikage: I look... ^^ perfect, as usual. *files his nails*  
Utena: I think this is pretty cool! *waves to the author of this fanfic* THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!  
Tiffy-chan: ^^ No problem!  
Anthy: OY! *shoves Tiffy-chan out of the screen, and you can hear bashing noises*  
Utena: o_o Anthy's killing the author..  
Anthy: *digs her hand in her pocket* Hm? What's this? *pulls out a potion*  
Touga: Well, gee, Anthy, look. *points to the words "pulls out a potion" on the screen*  
Anthy: A potion?  
Saionji: *squeals* a lotion!  
Touga: A POTION, not a LOTION!  
Saionji: Oh, ;_; No lotion?  
Touga: No lotion.  
Saionji: Miwa.  
Miki: That's my word, Saionji!  
Saionji: It's a fwee country!  
Miki: o_0 fwee?  
Saionji: YESH! FWEE!  
Juri: Nooobody knows the trouble I've seen... Noooobody knows my sorroooowww..  
Mikage: *plays along with Juri's Lion King act* Oh, Juri, DO lighten up. Sing something with a little.. mm.. bounce to it.  
Juri: -_-..... Toki Ni! Ai wa tsuyo ko!  
Mikage: No! No! ANYTHING but that!  
Juri: -_-... *multiplies herself* ^O^ OOoohh!! Happy Happy Birthday! From All of us to you! We wish it was our birthday! So we could party too! Cupcake!  
Everyone else: AH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
*****************************  
What will become of the Utena characters we know? Will they have birthdays every day? Will Saionji quit singing opera? Will Juri stop being a happy bouncy girl? Will Mikage stop saying he's perfect? Will the lil snails in SnailWorld take over Ohtori?! Will I shut up any time soon? Will Mikage's hair turn rainbow?! Will Touga turn into a girl withn white magic powers?! Will this fic have any plot at all?! *is dragged away by aliens as she continues her list of "Will"ses* 


	2. Onward! On That Trail that they blaze!

^_^ Hello, minna! The second chapter will now begin! Fasten your seatbelts cuz you're goin' into the.. er... uh... x.X;; THING!!!! DUNDUNDUN!  
  
* = Narrator!   
  
* typeytypeytypey* = actions!  
  
T_T = Waterfall tears!  
  
Mikage: *hugs Mamiya* = .... you'll find out soon enough =D  
  
Um.. $ typeytypey $ = Red Highlighting  
  
! typeytypey ! = Blue Hightlights  
  
----------------------------------------------------  
  
Main Menu  
  
|-------------------------------------------  
  
|  
  
| = New Game  
  
| Continue  
  
| What is this?  
  
| HAPPY BIRTHDAY!  
  
|  
  
|-------------------------------------------  
  
__________________________________________  
  
|-------------------------------------------  
  
|  
  
| New Game  
  
| = Continue  
  
| What is this?  
  
| HAPPY BIRTHDAY!   
  
|  
  
|-------------------------------------------  
  
Awww, look, isnt that cute, I tried to make a Main Menu screen!  
  
__________________________________________  
  
CLICK!  
  
__________________________________________  
  
Choose a file  
  
_______________________  
  
= { Time:A GREAT TIME O-} = Stupid attempt to do a file folder thing  
  
{ File 1- Ummmm...........}  
  
{ERROR. ERROR. ERRO- }  
  
__________________________________________  
  
CLICK!  
  
__________________________________________  
  
Juri: HAAAAPPPPPYYY BIRTHDAY, UTENA!!!! ^_~ TEE HEE!  
  
Utena: .... okay, that's just WRONG.   
  
Juri: ^___^  
  
Utena: *notices Anthy counting everyone* O.o whatcha doin' there, Anthy?  
  
Anthy: ^^ Tryin' to divide everyone, Miss Utena.  
  
Utena: O_O DIVIDE EVERYONE?!  
  
Anthy: Into groups, dummy.  
  
Utena: XD oh.. wait.. O_O YOU CALLED ME D-D-D-D-DUMMY!  
  
Anthy: o.o  
  
Everyone else: *gasps in terror*  
  
Utena: ...........WAAAHHHOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Anthy: o.o There are.... Utena, me, Juri, Miki, Touga, Saionji, Mikage... *looks behind her* AH!  
  
Akio: MWAAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAAHHAHAHA-*cough, choke, hack, gag*  
  
Anthy: O.O BIG BROTHER!  
  
Nanami: MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAHAHA!  
  
Mamiya: MIKAGE!!!! *flings to Mikage*  
  
Mikage: MAMIYA!!!! *flings to Mamiya*  
  
Mamiya and Mikage: *crash into each other and knock each other out*  
  
Anthy: WELL! I guess they're not part of the party! Utena! Choose 3 people. ^_^  
  
Utena: Um.. you, Miki, and uh....*looks at everyone* .. Saionji.  
  
Saionji: O_O DUUDE!!! Okay! ^o~  
  
Utena: Wink again and I'll choose Akio.  
  
Akio: WINK, SAIONJI, WINK!!  
  
Saionji: Nopies! :D I get to be with Anthy!!  
  
Anthy: ^_^ And miss Utena!!!  
  
Saionji: Darn!  
  
Anthy: *giggles her fake giggle*  
  
Utena: So.. where do the others go?  
  
Anthy: ^_^ In your pocket!  
  
Utena: O.o  
  
Akio: YEAH!!!!  
  
Touga: YAHOO!!!  
  
Utena: oh no.. *sighs* Alrighty, hop in.  
  
Akio: *gets into a position like he's going to dive* Whee! *dives into her pocket*  
  
Touga: Whee! *dives in after Akio*  
  
Nanami: Wait for me, Big Brother!! *jumps in behind Touga*  
  
Juri: ... I am like SO not picking up those two. *points to Mikage and Mamiya*  
  
Utena: Oh come on Juri!!!!  
  
Juri: like, fine! *picks up Mamiya as if he's a stinky sock and drops him into Utena's pocket, and does the same thing with Mikage* Humph, meany-weeny Ute-beany! ,  
  
Utena: O.o meany weeny Ute-beany..?  
  
Juri: *hops into Utena's pocket*  
  
Touga: Why, looky, Akio! We have girls!  
  
Miki: That's my shoulder your touching, Akio..  
  
Akio: Oh! Sorry, Miki! hehe..  
  
Nanami: OY!!!  
  
Akio: Woah!!   
  
Touga: Dont touch my sister!  
  
Nanami: Wow, Touga! ^^ So you really DO care about me?  
  
Touga: Nah, not really.  
  
Nanami: T_T  
  
Miki: Er.. Touga?  
  
Touga: Yeah, Miki?  
  
Miki: Why is your arm around my shoulders..?  
  
Touga: AH! I thought you were Juri!   
  
Juri: SO YOU WERE TRYING TO PUT YOUR ARM AROUND ME?!  
  
Akio: Yeah! How stupid of you, Touga! That is so rude! *puts his arm around Juri, only to meet Juri's fist* Ow.... *curls up in a ball*  
  
Mikage: Would ya'll stop yelling.. T_T my hair is messed up....  
  
Touga: And you noticed this.... when?  
  
Mikage: T_T meh!!!!  
  
Mamiya: Oh, its okay, Mikage, Its okay.. *hugs Mikage*  
  
Mikage: *hugs Mamiya* Mikage and Mamiya: T_T  
  
Utena: Now! ONWARD!!!  
  
Anthy: Oh, look! I think there's a town nearby. ^_^  
  
Utena: Oh?? Wuzzit called?  
  
Anthy: =3 Wuzzy Happy Akio Town. ^^ Aka W.H.A.T, Miss Utena.  
  
Utena: O.o Wuzzy Happy Akio Town..?  
  
Anthy: ^_^ lets go try it out, Miss Utena!  
  
Utena: Er... okay?  
  
*So! Our young team of daring-  
  
Touga: I DONT WANNA GO!!!!!!  
  
*Cheerful-  
  
Mikage: I hate the world...  
  
*and friendly-  
  
Akio: ^_~ So, Juri, what do you like to do on weekends?  
  
*....a bit too friendly heros travel to Wuzzy Happy Akio Town (a.k.a. "W.H.A.T." ) to discover their first journey! Or.. attempt to at least.  
  
Akio: I found our first journey!!! *runs up to Utena with a girl*  
  
Girl Named Kiki: huh??  
  
Utena: No!  
  
Akio: T_T *lets Girl Named Kiki run off*  
  
Saionji: LOTION! *holds out lotion to Utena*  
  
Utena: ....  
  
Saionji: T_T no lotion...  
  
Miki: er.... *looks down at the many many fangirls hugging his legs*  
  
Utena: *kicks all of the girls off without hurting Miki.. well, her leg goes through his, because that's how game sprites work. They kinda just drift off into each other like their not there. Its kinda strange really cuz in some games to prevent that they make the game sprites not even touch them so if like one of the characters kicked someone, they wouldn't really look like they were kicking them and then the person they were kicking would say "Ow!"*  
  
Akio: *runs back to Utena with another girl*  
  
Utena: GEEZ, AKIO, YOU NEED TO CHANGE!! ,   
  
Akio: *lets Unknown Girl run off* hmm...  
  
Touga: I found it! I found it!!  
  
Utena: Really?! *runs over to Touga*  
  
Touga: XD well, no..  
  
Utena: ARGH!!  
  
Akio: People!!!! Cm'ere!!! I think I found the journey!!  
  
Utena: O.o coming!   
  
*everyone runs to Akio*  
  
Akio: Yo, peeps! =D I was talking to this girl and some stuff she said was highlighted in red and blue!  
  
Utena: Aha!  
  
Akio: I'll talk to her again so you can see. ^^ Hello!  
  
Woman named Akino: Why, hello, there! Who might you be, Sir Handsome?  
  
Akio: =D My name's Akio!  
  
Woman named Akino: Oh, yes, I've heard of you.  
  
~*~ PAUSE ~*~  
  
Utena: I thought I was the main hero.. T_T  
  
Akio: Quiet, young Ute-chan!  
  
Utena: -_________________________________________-  
  
Akio: Now!  
  
~*~ BACK ~*~  
  
Woman named Akino: $Sir Supercalifragilisticexpialicheetoh$ told me of you!  
  
Akio: Sir wha?  
  
Woman named Akino: Please, come this way, he is expecting you.  
  
_______________________  
  
l = Okay, we're ready! l  
  
l Hold on a sec! l  
  
-----------------------------------  
  
_______________________  
  
l Okay, we're ready! l  
  
l = Hold on a sec! l  
  
-----------------------------------  
  
____________  
  
CLICK!  
  
____________  
  
*screen fades out*  
  
*~*Would you like to save?*~*  
  
= Yes  
  
No  
  
______  
  
CLICK!  
  
_______  
  
*~*Game Saved*~*  
  
***********************  
  
^^ YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 


	3. cOsTuMe ChAnGiNg?

^^ w00t!! Im back! oh yeah! ^________^ Now to continue the adventure!!   
  
Disclaimer: I do not own Utena, Utena is owned by Ikuhara-san and Saito-san! So is every other character! ^__^ All, a bit of FFX-2ness is in this, so pay attention and you'll know whats not mine! =D NOW! ONWARD, FRIENDS!  
  
*************************************  
  
*Menu screen appears*  
  
=New Game  
  
Continue  
  
Haven't we seen this screen before?  
  
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!  
  
Its not my birthday   
  
---------------------------------------------------------  
  
W00T! I got better at my screens! XD  
  
---------------------------------------------------------  
  
New Game  
  
=Continue  
  
Haven't we seen this screen before?  
  
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!  
  
Its not my birthday  
  
-------------------------------------------------------  
  
CLICK AGAIN!  
  
------------------------------------------------------  
  
SHIIINNNNEEEEE!!  
  
------------------------------------------------------  
  
Glitterrrrrrrrrr...............................  
  
------------------------------------------------------  
  
FLASH!  
  
------------------------------------------------------  
  
Utena: Hum... Lots of sound effects. O.o *claps* good work guys.  
  
Anthy: Miss Utena! You forgot where we were, did you not?  
  
Woman Named Akino: *stands there smiling*  
  
Utena: *glances at Woman Named Akino* Oh yeah! *talks to her* We would like to go see this Sir-  
  
Woman Named Akino: Why, hello, there! Who might you be, Sir Handsome?  
  
Utena: O.o eh?  
  
Akio: =D My name's Akio!  
  
Woman Named Akino: Oh yes, I've heard of yo-  
  
~*~ PAUSE ~*~ Utena: What in the name of Dios is going on?  
  
Akio: ^____^ NPC.  
  
Utena: NPC?  
  
Akio: TUTORIAL TIME!!!!!  
  
Utena: *sigh* can we get back in game first? ^^;;  
  
Akio: ^__^ OKAAY!!! ~*~ BACK ~*~  
  
Woman Named Akino: u.   
  
Utena: Eh?  
  
Akio: =3 You paused her in the middle of a sentence, so when you go back to game play, she finishes it!  
  
Utena: oooh! I get it! =D  
  
Anthy: Miss Utena, we must have a tutorial before continuing our journey. =3  
  
Utena: Eh? Why?  
  
Anthy: ^^ To tell you about.. cOsTuMe ChAnGiNg!!!  
  
Utena: O.o what in the world?  
  
Anthy: ^^ To tell you about.. cOsTuMe ChAnGiNg!!!  
  
Utena: eh.. ^^; I know that Anthy, but what do you mean?  
  
Anthy: cOsTuMe ChAnGiNg!!!  
  
Utena: WHAT IN THE NAME OF DIOS IS cOsTuMe ChAnGiNg?!?!?!?!?!  
  
Anthy: ^_____^ cOsTuMe ChAnGiNg is when you can cHaNgE yOuR cOsTuMe, Miss Utena! ^.^ I mean really its not that hard to figure out. =3  
  
Utena: o_o I see.  
  
Anthy: NOW!!! Let's check out the Default Costumes. ^.^ Mine is... *poses* ~WHITE MAGE~ =D Complete with Wand and Cure. Other abilities not included. =3  
  
Utena: o.o Cool!  
  
Anthy: *dashes over to Saionji* You, Saionji, are a Samurai!! Oooooh, ahhh!! ^^ Your Saionji comes with a Katana, a long pretty light brown skirt, ponytail scrunchie, and thongs!  
  
Utena: EH?! O_O  
  
Anthy: THE SHOES YOU IDIOT, THE SHOES!  
  
Utena: ... oh. x.x;  
  
Anthy: Ugh, I CANNOT work like this! Juri, take over! @___@  
  
Juri: *salutes* YESSIR! :D  
  
Anthy: .... blargy. x.x;  
  
Juri: NOW!!! *takes everyone out of Utena's pockets*  
  
Touga: o.o DARN!  
  
Juri: Teehee! *slides over to Touga* Here we have a WARRIOR! For best results, prop your Touga in a warrior-ish battle stance! ^.~  
  
Touga: o.o  
  
Juri: *slides over to Miki* This is what we call a *gasp* Gunner! Gunners come with guns, guns, a half skirt, guns, oh! and did i mention guns? =3  
  
Miki: ^^; Ahehe... half..skirt..?  
  
Juri: Yep!  
  
Miki: YES!!!!!!!!!! *parties*  
  
Mikage: Hum.... *turns to Mamiya* YOU NEED A HALF SKIRT! =O  
  
Mamiya: ^^ yes, ma'am!  
  
Juri: *slides to Chu-Chu* HIDDEN CHARACTER ALERT! HIDDEN CHARACTER ALERT!   
  
Chu-Chu: Chu chu? =3  
  
Juri: YOU ARE A ~*~**~MASCOT~**~*~!! DUN DUN DUN!  
  
Chu-Chu: Chu! ^^  
  
Juri: Mascots come with.. um.. the ability to attack!  
  
Chu-Chu: Chu..  
  
Juri: OOH, GO CHEW ON SOMEBODY YOUR OWN SIZE, YA BIG BLUE FUNGUS! @__@  
  
Chu-Chu: XP CHU!  
  
Juri: *stares at Chuchu*  
  
Chu-Chu: *stares at Juri*  
  
Juri: *kicks Chu-Chu*  
  
Chu: *flies off the planet* CHHHHHHHHHHUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!!!!!!  
  
Utena: o.o bye bye, Chu-Chu.  
  
Juri: Oh, dont worry, =3 He'll only be gone for about 30 minutes of gameplay.   
  
Utena: Gameplay? .__. Miki: Yes, Miss Utena, =3 Gameplay.   
  
Mikage: So... what am I? ^^;;   
  
Juri: YOU are a ] BLACK MAGE [ !! You have the ability to use OFFENSIVE magic! and dress in a cool hat and robe! ^______~  
  
Mikage: o.o really??  
  
Juri: YEP! ^__^ says right here! *points to the "Black Mages for Dummies" book she's holding*  
  
Mikage: I see... interesting. o____O  
  
Mamiya: So... what am I exactly? -.-  
  
Juri: YOU, Mamiya, arreeee aaaa THEIF!  
  
Mamiya: YEAH!!!!!  
  
Utena: You know, I think this little changing costume thing is getting boring for the game players. =3  
  
Juri: AND WHO SAID THAT?!  
  
Utena: ^-^ The little box above my head, but now its changed since I'm saying something different. ^___________^  
  
Juri: Oh yeah! I forgot about those! *pokes her speech box*  
  
Akio: But what about MEEEE!!! I wanna know what IIII am!!!!  
  
Anthy: Oooh stop whining!  
  
Akio: yes ma'am T_T  
  
Utena: Ya know.. now that we did this whole tutorial thingy, cant they just figure out what they are on their own?  
  
Akio: I cant find myself!! T_____________T  
  
Anthy: Don't worry, Akio! ^-^ You can always go buy a new self if you lost your own! =D not that expensive at all, especially one that's for you. @___@  
  
Akio: Thank you!!! ^-^  
  
Anthy: Welcome. =3   
  
Utena: x3  
  
Touga: Suuuu... think this segment of the game is long enough? The poor author has just about written 4 pages worth.  
  
Anthy: ^-^ well lets make her finish the 3rd page, then we can save.  
  
Utena: Sure?  
  
Anthy: Positive! o.o we dont have a long way to go! Only about half the page! X3  
  
Utena: very true... okaaay! ^^  
  
Anthy: Let's all siing!!!  
  
Utena: Nu! o.o Let's give Mikage a makeover!  
  
Touga: Ooh, i love makeovers! ^o^ *gets out make-up kit*  
  
Utena: O.o;;;;;;;;;;  
  
Anthy: ^-^  
  
Utena: O.o;;;;;;;;;;  
  
Anthy: ^-^  
  
Utena: O.o;;;;;;;;;;  
  
Anthy: ^__^  
  
Utena: O.o;;;;;;;;;;  
  
Anthy: .  
  
Utena: O.o;;;;;;;;;;  
  
Anthy: Miss Utena. *coughs and points above her head*  
  
Utena: Wha..? *looks up* Oh! Right! *reads like a really bad reader* An. Thy. I. Think. We. Should. Go. See. Miss. Ter.   
  
Anthy: Nevermind. SAVE PEOPLE!!! or I'll strangle you with that controller cord. XP  
  
Touga: O_O we didnt talk that much in this segment o' the story..  
  
Miki: *clicks stopwatch* Our game creator is sick at the moment, so her brain is running slower than it usually is!  
  
Utena: is that possible?  
  
Miki: .... No, but that's what the box said. ^__^ *clicks his stopwatch*  
  
Utena: @.@;; whatever...  
  
*~*Would you like to save?*~*  
  
= Yes  
  
No  
  
__________  
  
CLICK!  
  
__________  
  
*~* Game Save-  
  
****************************************  
  
waii! its true! T_T Im sick! I'm uber very uber sick. ^-^;;; but! I love all of you, my reviewers, and to the flamers.. well.. ^-^; go away. If you dont like this story, *cough*Stuv*cough*, then go find a story you DO like and review that one! ^___^ See ya'll later with the next chapppyyyyy!!!! 


	4. Off to Find Sir Cheetoh

Whee. Finally getting back to writing! And guess what! School's out! x3 that means I'll have more time to write! MWAHAHAH! So, um, yeah, stay in tuned for faster chapters. X.x   
  
yeah, yeah, you know the drill. I don't own Utena. But I do own they're PANTS!! D ..nah, TT I wish I did.   
  
-----------------------------------------------------  
  
= New Game  
  
Continue  
  
Lalala  
  
Lalalala  
  
Lalalalala  
  
Why is it that every time the main menu opens it changes?  
  
That question wasn't here before  
  
Neither was that  
  
Or that  
  
Or that  
  
Or that  
  
Or-  
  
New Game  
  
=Continue  
  
Lalala  
  
Lalalala  
  
Lalalalala  
  
Why is it that every time the main menu opens it changes?  
  
That question wasn't here before  
  
Neither was that  
  
Or that  
  
Or that  
  
Or that  
  
Or-  
  
click!   
  
-------------------------------------------------------  
  
We rejoin our..ahem.. "heros" boredomly chowing down in Wuzzy Happy Akio Town STILL wondering when they'll be brought to meet Mr. Supercalifragilisticexpialicheetoh  
  
Touga: Maann... munches on cheetohs in boredom I'm still wondering when we'll be brought to meet Mr. Supercalifragilisticexpialicheetoh..  
  
Utena: Yeah..Me too.  
  
Anthy: Miss Utena?  
  
Utena: Yis?  
  
Anthy: You're a dimwit.  
  
Utena: Thanks...  
  
Anthy: .....  
  
Utena: .....  
  
Anthy: oo  
  
Utena: what? o.o  
  
Anthy: Nothing, Miss Utena! n-n Anyway, we have to wander around the town until we find the castle.  
  
Utena: Or we can just look at the map.  
  
Anthy: ... that works.  
  
Utena: Plus, pokes a red arrow in front of her This little arrow is telling me where to go. That's how we got to Wuzzy Happy Akio Town so fast. nn I didn't get lost.  
  
Anthy: I'm still wondering when we'll get our first random encounter.  
  
Utena: Yeah.. Oo that is kinda weird, isn't it..   
  
Anthy: ANYWAY! Follow the arrow.   
  
Touga: What about the yellow brick road?  
  
Saionji: WHEE!!! poofs into a Dorothy dress Im sho pretty!!!  
  
Nanami: oo poofs into Scarecrow outfit   
  
Utena: You don't need the outfit, Nanami! You're already scary! AHAAHAHHA! bursts out laughing as a small bad comedy drumbeat plays in the background   
  
Nanami: ;; Squee.  
  
Utena: EEP! jumps behind Anthy Save meh.  
  
Anthy: I thought I was the bride..   
  
Utena: ONWARD! TOWARDS THE.. um.. castle? I think?  
  
Anthy: sigh YES, Miss Utena, the castle.  
  
Utena: Gotcha! starts dashing towards the castle as everyone jumps in her pocket   
  
Anthy: Notice how she never gets tired. oo  
  
Nanami: Yeah.. she goes on and on and on.  
  
Touga: Like the energizer bunny! n.n .. I love bunnies.  
  
Akio: ..me too. n.n  
  
Saionji: Me threee!!!  
  
Mikage: Uh duurrr... Bunnies like.. totally rock, yo.  
  
Miki: they're cute and soft and cuddly.. and they're my best friend. n.n  
  
Touga, Saionji, Akio, and Mikage: Awww! Let's share bunny stories!  
  
Nanami: Oh, god..   
  
Utena: We're here!!  
  
Nanami: YAY!   
  
everyone jumps out of Utena's pockets  
  
Utena: Ummm... Anthy? There's a guy standing in my way.  
  
Anthy: Wuzzhe look like?  
  
Utena: He has a frown on his face, he's covered in game sprite armor, and he's holding a thin rectangle-oh, wait, that's a sword.   
  
Anthy: Ah, a royal guard.  
  
Utena: Oh! and he also has one of those stickers that says "hello! My name is.."   
  
Anthy: ..So what's his name?  
  
Utena: Lesse.. I'll talk to him and his name should appear in his speech box.  
  
Anthy: Smarty!  
  
Utena: Yo, royal guard guy.  
  
Royal Guard Guy Named Stuv: You know what? Don't call me that.   
  
Utena: o.o o...kay..?  
  
Royal Guard Named Stuv: Don't say that! You stink at saying that!  
  
Utena: oo meh.. um.. alright?  
  
Royal Guard Named Stuv: Say 'yes sir!'. Although you'd still probably suck at saying that.  
  
Utena: Watch it, buddeh.  
  
Royal Guard Named Stuv: Why'd you even bother coming here?   
  
Utena: Be..cause.. my.. arrow told me to? points to arrow  
  
Royal Guard Named Stuv: Shut up, okay?! You might as well made an original excuse!  
  
Utena: But it was original. o.o  
  
Royal Guard Named Stuv: You might as well have said "I'm sorry! We had to stop and get potions before continuing on our heroic journey to save the world from mass destruction!" Although it would still probably suck.   
  
Utena: O.o what's your problem?  
  
Anthy: oo I think he's gay.  
  
Touga: Oh! winks at Royal Guard named Stuv  
  
Akio: n  
  
Royal Guard Named Stuv: Like, eww!!   
  
Touga: Ohh!!! and he has a valley girl voice!! eyes turn into hearts  
  
Royal Guard Named Stuv: OKAY! What do you want, One That Is Un-original?   
  
Utena: You so don't deserve to be able to call people in funky little "One Who Is" names. X.x  
  
Royal Guard Named Stuv: WHAT DO YOU WANT, ONE THAT IS UN-ORIGINAL! EVEN THOUGH IF YOU WERE DIFFERENT YOU'D STILL PROBABLY SUCK!  
  
Utena: ...I wish to see Mister Supercalifragilisticexpialicheetoh. O.o  
  
Royal Guard Named Stuv: Well then...  
  
Utena: Thanks!  
  
Royal Guard Named Stuv: I will not let you pass, One Who Is OOC-full!  
  
Utena: What?! First I'm unoriginal and now I'm OOC?! Royal Guard Named Stuv: YES! NOW! LEAVE!  
  
Utena: But this lady told me Sir Cheetoh was waiting for us to arrive!  
  
Royal Guard Named Stuv: Mister Supercalifragilisticexpialicheetoh told me he was expected Lady Tenjou, Lady Himemiya, Sir Kiryuu, Sir Kyuichi, Sir Ohtori, Sir Kaoru, Lady Kiryuu, Sir Souji, Sir Chida, and Lady Arisugawa.   
  
Utena: ... points to little mysteriously placed name tags out of nowhere  
  
Royal Guard Named Stuv: ..Oh. Well.. fine! But you still suck.  
  
Utena: yeah, yeah, talk to the wall, girlfriieeennd.   
  
Anthy: n.n Don't make me snap no Z! snaps her fingers in the shape of a Z  
  
Touga: Yaayy!!!!!  
  
Juri: Celebrattiioon! does tango with Saionji  
  
Utena: Onward! pushes Stuv off and goes into the castle  
  
Anthy: We gonna paaahhtayy!!!  
  
Miki: Party over here! Woo! Woo!   
  
Akio: oo;; sings Ricky Martin songs  
  
Nanami: sings Pat Benetar  
  
Touga: throws tomatos at his sister for trying to sing Pat Benetar songs   
  
Utena: Ooooohhhh, we're goin' in da castle!  
  
Anthy: n.n We finally goin' in!  
  
Touga: I think we all should celebrate!  
  
Juri: We fought Stuv and we... um.. win!  
  
Saionji: We let's go find Sir Cheetoh  
  
Akio: Maybe we'll use our ears  
  
Nanami: Or we could just all use our map  
  
Miki: Before Utena's arrow disappears!  
  
Mikage:.. that was bad. X.x really bad.  
  
Utena: Oh shut up! It was just a little jingle. xP Now, lets go find Sir Cheetoh!  
  
Anthy: Glowing spot, Miss Utena!  
  
Touga: gasp .....what's that, Anthy?  
  
Anthy: It's a save point, you nimrod.   
  
Utena: Oh! o.o I guess I'll save. walks over to the save point  
  
Would you like to save?  
  
= Yes  
  
No  
  
Click!  
  
saving..  
  
Please Do Not Remove Game CD or take out  
  
Memory Card.  
  
Game Saved!   
  
Whoo! xD Finally got the next chapter! hope you like it! x3 Im so ebil. R/R, minna! Love you, fans!! 3 


	5. Intermission Encounter Battles

MWAHAHAHAH! xD I am back and healthy! - Unsick, desick, anti-sick, unsickable, and sickless! x3 and! Chapterful! ; dont mind me. Um... No! really! READ! .;  
  
BUT FIRST! a scene between I and teh cast. - 5th chappy coming up next. xD mwahahahha! torture!! =D  
  
Tiffy-chan: Whee! Chappy 5 already. But before we get on with the game, we must...  
  
Utena: Make a disclaimer? =D  
  
Tiffy-chan: er... Nu!   
  
Anthy: Explain all the cheesy humor in this game?  
  
Tiffy-chan: No! XP It's cheesy, it should be easy enough to self-explain.  
  
Saionji: I like cheesssseee...   
  
Juri: Like, really?! me too!!! squeals and hugs Saionji  
  
Saionji: squeals and hugs Juri  
  
Touga: Why does HE get to touch Juri.. ;;  
  
Saionji: IM SPPEEEEEEEEEEEECIAL! thats why!  
  
Touga: sticks his tongue out at Saionji  
  
Saionji: sticks his tongue back out at Touga  
  
Tiffy-chan: STOP IT, CHILDREN! =O  
  
Saionji and Touga: Yesh, mommy..  
  
Miki: So.. um... Miss Tiffy-chan, what IS it that we must do..???   
  
Nanami: Oh THAT's EAAAASYY! Finger paaiint!!!!! puts her fingers in pools of different colored paints and runs around painting things  
  
Miki: OO MY STOPWATCH!! IT'S.. IT'S... IT'S... BLUUEE!!!! Squeals in delight and hugs it, getting blue paint all over his uniform And look! =D My uniform's blue too!!!  
  
Tiffy-chan: x.x;; Gah!   
  
Anthy: - try to be more humorous, Miss Tiffy-chan. This is a humor fanfic. =3  
  
Tiffy-chan: I know, but im trying to tell you all something!!! O.o;;  
  
Everyone: Tell us then!  
  
Tiffy-chan: ... Mmmmeh! sticks her tongue out at them  
  
Saionji: Eep!! Tiffy-chan sccaaaawwwyyy!!!! TT jumps into Juri's arms  
  
Juri: Awww.. issokay. =3 drops him and runs around in circles  
  
Saionji: Cries like a a baby SAIONJI GOTTA BOO BOO!!!  
  
Tiffy-chan: MYARG! I hope you all know you're getting paid by ME! =O  
  
Everyone: freezes yesh ma'am!   
  
Tiffy-chan: clears throat thank you. . Now! everyone, get out your Wuzzy Happy Utena Role Playing FanFic "Encounter Battles For Dummies" book. Saionji should have extras if you lost yours.  
  
Anthy: oh! Oh! I lost mine!   
  
Saionji: hands her extra book n.n  
  
Anthy: x3 thhaaannkkkss... hugs book   
  
Utena: Su.... we're gonna be doing random encounters soon?!  
  
Tiffy-chan: vv Yish, and we must learn how to before doing so.  
  
Utena: .. we didn't need to learn how to save.. or walk.. or talk... or complain.. or tell cheesy jokes.  
  
Tiffy-chan: Those were already installed! NOW! Turn to page 789966545450687522236897110270483.   
  
Anthy: .. turns to page  
  
Everyone else: ditto, yo   
  
Tiffy-chan: Now. You see that there is a screen similar to the main menu.  
  
Attack  
  
Magic  
  
Summon  
  
Items  
  
Eat Cheese  
  
Sing Broadway Tune  
  
Nanami: Ooh... are there any more options?  
  
Tiffy-chan: Tons more! But I just decided to list a few.  
  
Nanami: Oky. x3  
  
Utena: What types of monsters are there? Tiffy-chan: Ah, different ones. X.x;   
  
Utena: ...?  
  
Tiffy-chan: ANYWAY! Basically, it's turn-based, regular, a bit confusing, and completely random. Oh, and about levels. That's random too. And HP...  
  
Utena: Oh! I have 200. n.n  
  
Anthy: 50 :3  
  
Miki: 100.  
  
Touga: 400. x3  
  
Akio: 450. x3  
  
Juri: 350. o.o  
  
Saionji: 375. xx  
  
Mikage: o.O 200.  
  
Mamiya: 150. n.n  
  
Nanami: ..250. X.x  
  
Tiffy-chan: Did i forget anyone?  
  
Chuchu: Chuu!!! tugs on skirt   
  
Tiffy-chan: Doh! Gomen, Chuchu-chan! You have.. oo 2.   
  
ChuChu: ..  
  
Everyone else: .O  
  
Tiffy-chan: Well! n.n Hehe! Good luck! I'll explain more inbetween chapters 9 and 10! wink Read and review my fic, people!!! Or else evil cousins of Chuchu will sneak into your bedroom and stuff they're stuffed animals down your throat. D  
  
Miki: I had it happen once. . Terrifying.  
  
Anthy: Oh yes... horrible.  
  
Touga: Don't.. let it happen to you! Screams in horror and bursts into tears HORRIBLE!! HOOORRRIIIBBBBBBBLLLLEEEE!!!! TT  
  
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
..No, really. XX R/R!! 


	6. Sir Cheetoh and the mission!

MWARHAR! No update is going to stop me!!! Nu way! Uh-uh! Nope! Nupeh! So! Next Chappeh. Enjoy. Blarg. o.o .. No, really. Hehe. Yes, you know the drill, I don't own Utena, never will, never did...never did, never will. yeah...   
  
{ } - Actions  
  
------------------------------------------------  
  
Anthy: ....So then he says "No, I want the Rose.. FRIED!" AHAHAHAHA!! AHAHAHA! AHAHA! AHA.. aha.. ah.. ahahaha.. ha...o.o Ha. {hears crickets} .....  
  
Utena: Was that funny? {blink}  
  
Anthy: {blush} well.. it.. was... supposed to be... {sniff}  
  
Saionji: ....   
  
Tiffy-chan: HEY! This is a humor fic! Laugh at EVERYTHING!  
  
Everyone: AHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHHAAHAHHHHAAHAHHHHAAHAAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHHAHAHAHAHAAH.   
  
Anthy: Good! I knew you all liked it. =D  
  
Utena: {sigh} It's a real good thing you're a white mage...   
  
Anthy: ?  
  
Touga: Oh! Oh! OH!   
  
Utena: O.o  
  
Touga: PEOPLE ARE GONNA TAKEY US TO SEE YOU-KNOW-WHO!  
  
Saionji: =D Mommy?!  
  
Akio: =D Melissa?!  
  
Anthy: O.o who's Melissa?  
  
Akio: Er.. uuhhmmm... {cough} Who, Touga?  
  
Touga: ... Mister Cheetooohh!!! {giggle} but that Royal guard guy promised me a date afterwards, so we gotta make it fast, kay?  
  
Saionji: Ugh! No fair! {pouts}  
  
Touga: Aww... Does wittle Saionji want a datey with Stuvvy Wuvvy?  
  
Saionji: {sniff} yes....  
  
Everyone: Awwww!!  
  
Touga: =D I'm sure he won't mind two dates! {giggle}  
  
Saionji: It'd be a triangle! =D  
  
Akio: ;.; ....  
  
Touga: Oh, Akio, don't worry. You can have Mister Cheetoh. {nodnod}  
  
Akio: ;o;  
  
Utena: {snicker}  
  
Anthy: Well, let's get going! Juri: Whee!!!!!! is playing jump rope with Miki  
  
Miki: Juri is the master of this spiffy jump rope game! While playing she makes others look so very very lame! One day at the local park she was asked to play! People crowded 'round, so how many of them stayed? {starts counting Juri's jumps}  
  
Utena: Oo; ......aha.....{sneaks close to the jump rope, but is thwacked by it} OW!  
  
Miki: 27...28...29...30...  
  
Anthy: o.o .....sticks her staff into the rope and stops it  
  
Miki: 34..35...3..Hey!!! ;.;  
  
Juri: Owwwyyy!!!!!!! {cries}   
  
Anthy: Sorry! But let's go meet Cheetoh!  
  
Juri: {sniff} alright..  
  
Lalalalalala  
  
Headin' to Sir Cheetoh  
  
Lalalalalala  
  
Utena: O.o where'd that come from?  
  
Anthy: o.o I dont think we were supposed to notice it.  
  
Touga: Oohh.. one of those things for the gamers only?  
  
Anthy: Yeah. =3  
  
Touga: ....Too bad.   
  
Utena: Oh! Anthy! What's that really important looking green square?  
  
Anthy: =3 that would be Cheetoh, honey.  
  
Utena: ..well why didn't they just put him there?  
  
Anthy: ...Because they wanted to be technical about it!  
  
Utena: o.o who's they?  
  
Anthy: THEM!!!! THEY! THOSE GUYS! THHEEMM!!! {twitch}  
  
Utena: ........So they're Male Thems?  
  
Anthy: .... No, Utena. They are Male THEYs. Theys are the people who decide everything. They are Thems. Thems are They.   
  
Utena: .....=D Oh, okay.   
  
Juri: a-what?  
  
Anthy: ............Just head towards the square, Ute-chan..   
  
Utena: What square? o.o  
  
Anthy: The green one!! The green square that THEY made!!  
  
Utena: Oh! okay. =D {walks to the square}  
  
Anthy: e.e ....  
  
Announcer: Aaalllllllllrrrrrrrrrrriiiiiiiiigggggggggggghhhhhhhhhttttttttttt, eeeeeeeeeeeeeeevvvvvvvvveeeeeeeeerrrrrrrryyyyyyyyyoooooonnnnneeeeeee!!!!!! Stand up and throw your hands together foooooorrrrrr..... Sssssirrrrrrrr........ Sssssssssssupperrrrrr... calii.......fragiiiiiiii....lllllllistic.......exxxxxxxxpiiiiiiii.....aallliiiiiii.....CCCHHHHHHHHEEEEEEEEEETOOOOOHH!!!!! {fake cheering roars in the room}  
  
Juri: ow. oo;  
  
Sir Cheetoh: YYOOOO!!!!!!!!! {spotlight lands on him} Ow! B-bright! Too bright! Stuvvy! LIGHT!  
  
Stuv/Announcer: Oh, uh, yessir! {dims the light a little}  
  
Sir Cheetoh: ahem... YYOOOO!!!!!!!!! {spotlight lands on him} Wassap, home dawgs?!  
  
Miki: Yo, home brudda!!  
  
Sir Cheetoh: Yo!!!  
  
Miki: Yoo!!!  
  
Sir Cheetoh: Yo!!!  
  
Miki: Yo!!!  
  
Sir Cheetoh: Yo!!!  
  
Miki: Yo!!!  
  
Everyone else: oo; {watches them say Yo}  
  
Utena: I thought them meant-  
  
Anthy: Just don't talk, Ute-chan. oo; Being a.....wait...what are you?  
  
Utena: ?..I am a prince! D   
  
Anthy: Hm... {looks through "RPG Classes for Dummies"} Ah! Here it is. Prince- The brave, noble warrior who saves princesses and gets the power to revolutionize the world. Abilities - Gender Change, Revolutionize, Rose Cut. Starter Items - Wooden Broom, Rose Ring, Flowly Cape, Bling Bling....hm.. coincidence? I think not.. Oo;   
  
Utena: Yay!   
  
Anthy: Odd. oo;   
  
Sir Cheetoh: Yo, dudes! I gotsta mission for you home bruddas to does!   
  
Anthy: You have bad grammer, no?  
  
Sir Cheetoh: Why thank you, but you flatter me...  
  
Akio: 'ey! That's my line! ;.;  
  
Sir Cheetoh: Cool, guy. {giggle} Anyway, mission!  
  
Everyone: Yay! This story-er-game does have a point!  
  
Utena: ..shh!!! Don't let Tiffy-chan hear you!   
  
Anthy: She wanted this to be pointless? O-o  
  
Utena: Well..no..but...eh, 4th wall. Shut up. xP  
  
Sir Cheetoh: Yo! Dudes! Mission!  
  
Juri: Yeah! like, Hello!   
  
Miki: oo; ........whats the mission?  
  
Touga: Oh! =D We get to make the world's biggest PIE! right? =3  
  
Sir Cheetoh: No! You are to go to Land of Broadway, Snzizterswaggawallatuffle, aka, TuffleTown.   
  
Anthy: .....all of these places have the cheesiest names....  
  
Utena: I notice. O.o   
  
Saionji: {gasp} we get to sing broadway!!!  
  
Sir Cheetoh: Yeeeaaahhhhhhhno! You are going to retrieve the Pink Happy Rubber Cow of Great Happy Sadness.  
  
Anthy: oo; Happy...Sadness...? awesome!  
  
Utena: The Pink Happy Rubber Cow of Great Happy Sadness!  
  
Mikage: O.o notice I haven't said a whole lot?  
  
Nanami: =3 same.  
  
Juri: Wasn't Chu-Chu supposed to be back by now? =3  
  
Saionji: =D ah, who cares. It'll be back sooner or later... where'd Mamiya run off to?   
  
Mikage: ;.; my dear Mamiya...  
  
Mamiya: Hello! {walks in carrying 36 bags full of shopping items}  
  
Utena: M-Mamiya!  
  
Mamiya: Hey, home sista. ;3  
  
Utena: WHAT'S WITH ALL THE PEOPLE BEING FROM 'HOME'!?!?!?! ;o;  
  
Juri: {giggle} silly Ute-beany.  
  
Anthy: Go to TuffleTown and get Pink Happy Rubber Cow of Great Happy Sadness... got it! Let's go!  
  
Utena: Wait! ......no dinner? No rest? No asking if I want to save? No pretty sleep music?  
  
Saionji: I 'unno. =D  
  
Save Woman: WAIIITT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Would you like to save, Utena? =D  
  
Utena: Yes. xP What happened to the menu screens?  
  
Save Woman: Ah, the guys who work with 'em are on vacation for now. =3   
  
Utena: I see...okay! well, save.   
  
Save Woman: Got it! {eyes go blank and load bar appears} Please do not remove anything. Saving file. Do you want to overwrite the file?  
  
Utena: =3 yes please.  
  
Save Woman: ...................................................................................  
  
Anthy: oo;  
  
Save Woman: ...... .... ..............................................  
  
Anthy: Oo;   
  
Save Woman: FINISHED SAVING! XO  
  
Utena: o.o do you have to yell?  
  
Save Woman: =D YES!  
  
Utena: okay! =D  
  
Anthy: oo; Gee, ever since made its update, a lot of things have changed. No menu screen....different save thingy, um.... and other stuff. =O  
  
Saionji: Whee! {giggle} stuff. =3  
  
Touga: Sooo.... Stuvvy-wuvvy...{giggle} wanna go on a romantic love boat?  
  
Tiffy-chan: Oo; I thought I was gonna close this chap a few minutes ago..{shrug}  
  
Utena: Really. n.n the screen was supposed to go blank by now.   
  
{screen goes blank}  
  
Utena: ...well, there ya go!   
  
-------------------------------------------------  
  
W00t! Hopeth you liked this chapter! I know I've been kind of slow lately but school is gonna start soon and I really want to get to chapter 8 before that. So... except chapters. xP R/R my lovely reviewers!! {hugs and kisses all her reviewers} and wish our heroic team luck as they venture off to find the Pink Happy Rubber Cow of Great Happy Sadness. n. see you in the next chapter, reviewers!!! 


	7. Tuffle Town!

Yay! 7th chapter! And this fic actually has a storyline! Or does it? ::gasp:: And yes, from now on, the action thingies will be "::" If ya don't like it, eat ice cream! D Everyone loves ice cream! Something... "special" happens in this fic.. just to tell you. o.o 

Utena: oo; Ahem... This is a very sad, cheap disclaimer, but you already know what I am going to say so let's just get on with it. D Tiffy-chan doesn't and never will own Utena or anything in this fanfic for financial reasons besides the plot, text, save characters, menu screens, made-up lyrics, and titles for towns and objects and she does this for your enjoyment. She hopes you like her insanity and she hopes you like this fic. Wait until the doors come to a complete stop! Stay in school! Learn disco! Do your homework! Shake it like you just don't care! Break it down! Eat your vegetables!

Tiffy-chan: U-Utena! You can stop the disclaimer now. o.o Utena: ...right! Onto the fic! Oh! and don't mind any odd mistakes. c.c;  
-------------------------------------------------------------------

Anthy: D Tralalalalalalalaaaa!!!! ::skips along the world map with Utena:  
Utena: D Is it me or is this getting cheesier and cheesier?  
Anthy: D Tralalalalalalalaaaa!  
Utena: Oo; this is that NPC thingy, ain't it?  
Anthy: D Tralalalala-  
Saionji: ::is fixing himself up in the mirrior:: wow.. I do say, I look prettier than ever! HAHAHAHAHA!  
Touga: ::sniff:: ;o;  
Saionji: ::hugs Touga::  
Mikage: So....where exactly are we going again? that... Broadway town! To get that rubber cow...thing. D Utena: Are you talking to yourself? You just answered your own question 3  
Mikage: Haha! No, Silly Utena. Only psychos talk to themselves, and I am no psycho...Oh yes you are. N-No I'm not! Yes! You! ARE! Noo!! Nuuu!!!! Hurry! We must get the Rose ring...Yesss.  
Utena: .......well! That leaves me feeling odd. D Anyway, I see a special spot!  
Anthy: How do you know it's special, Utena?  
Utena: Because everything and everyone is special... D Anthy: .  
Utena: Actually, because it's name is "????????" and it's a red square on the map. D That means we haven't been there before, and it's important! Anthy: ::gasp:: You ARE learning! Aww, Im so proud!  
Utena: n.n Heehee. Anyway! ::walks into the town::

!W!E!L!C!O!M!E! !T!O! !T!U!F!F!L!E!T!O!W!N!

Utena: ...Well that was snazzy! D  
Anthy: Yeah, baby, it was sure groovy! ::laughs and winks:: ...Oh god. o.o Saionji: Whooo!!! This place is smokin'! Touga: Yeah, baby!  
Juri: O.o eh?  
Utena: ::breaks into broadway-type song:: Let's go check out this town because it's obviously our place! We can find this cow with a smile on our face! This is the Broadway Tuffle Town! This happy sad cow.. Will.. Be... Found!  
Juri: ::gasp::  
Anthy: ::claps for Utena::  
Utena: Let's go find the cow. D ::walks along in Tuffle Town:  
Saionji: Hey.. I could sell my lotion here! Just think of it.. "Potions and Lotions, Plotions". ::sighs:  
Touga: ::giggle:  
Mikage: Utena, you just broke into song. Oo;  
Utena: D No I didn't, silly Mikage.  
Mikage: Yes you did.. ::breaks into present-like rap song:: You were singing a song! It didn't last very long! But if I am not wrong, we could all see your thooonnngggg! Break it down! Utena: ....... ::hits Mikage::  
Mikage: Ow. ::wince:  
Miki: o.o don't you think we should be looking for the rubber cow?  
Touga: Whee! ::giggle:: Anthy: xO LETS GO!  
Utena: Yeah! Let's go!  
Saionji: Yeah! ...um...where?  
Anthy: ....::breaks into 40's-like song:: To find the rubber cow! Let's go, let's go, right now! If we wait, a-we'll be late, and then...Cheetoh'll .. ;  
Mikage: That was bad. Really bad. ::sticks out his tongue::  
Utena: oo Tiffy-chan is feeling sick today. She says it's really hot where she is!  
Touga: D Cool!  
Anthy: Cool is a cool word. x3  
Utena: oO; is that in the script?  
Miki: NO! D but it's cool.  
Saionji: .....::tries to find a plotion place:: Soft skin is spiffy. x3 Mikage: If we dont' get moving, we're gonna be here for two chapters. ;  
Utena: Really?  
Mikage: Ugh, yeah. Anthy: Let's STALL! x3  
Touga: Hey, I see a castle!  
Utena: Why must EVERY town have a castle? Why not a shack, or a mansion, or an apartment?  
Anthy: ...Because.  
Utena: Ah! Okay! 3 that answers everything.  
Miki: oo; why?  
Utena: n.n Because!  
Miki: Oh...::clicks stopwatch:: Gee, I didn't click it for at least 2 chapters. OO;  
Juri: Shhh!! That's not important.  
Miki: ;.; yes it is.  
Utena: Oh Lookie! 'Nother Royal Guardie Dude. 'Cept he's in a gansta pimpin' homie outfit. o.O  
Anthy: Royizzle Guardizzle Fo Shizzle. o.o  
Miki: Homie. ::giggle:: o.o ::gasp:: Oh no! ::chokes, coughs, hacks, gags::  
Utena: Miki!!!! What's wrong?!  
Miki: I.. I... I'm shingin'!!! ::breaks into 'I Will Survive' tune, singing about his stopwatch:: Once I was a doll! I was Raggedy Ann! Oh, thinkin' I could never live without you sewed to my hand.. Then I spent so many hours.. thinkin' 'Why is my thumb sore?'.. Then I realized.. That it was 15 after four! Oh now, go! What'cha clickin' for? Just please break down now! 'Cuz I have so much to live for! Weren't you the one who timed me wrong in Phys. Ed. Class? Why if you had one.. I'd go down there and beat your-  
Utena: MIKI!  
Miki: ...sorry. oo;  
Anthy: Well, I personally liked it.  
Royizzle Fo Shizzle Guardizzle: Yo, felluhs! Ya'll from the W.H.A.T 'hood? o.O  
Utena: Yeah, man. Nah let us in, homie.  
Royizzle Fo Shizzle Guardizzle: Yo, sure, felluhs. Go right in. ::opens the doors to the castle::  
Utena: Shank ya. ::walks in with her crew from the 'hood::  
Saionji: plooootttiooon... pppllloooottiiooonn.  
Mikage: Ugh, can we make this fast? ;.; the temperature in here is ruining my haiir...::runs his fingers through his hair::  
Utena: Suuu... Where is this-  
Akio: COW!  
Anthy: o.o Ok...ay.  
Akio: Cow.  
Utena: D Yes, Akio, we're looking for a cow... ::pats him on the head::  
Mamiya: o.o can I like.. use a super special theifyish power?  
Utena: No! xP you can't.  
Mamiya:O why!  
Utena: Because. xO I'm the hero and what I say goes.  
Mamiya: ;.; ::pouts:  
Nanami: TTToouuuuuuggggaaaa!  
Touga: What? x.x  
Nanami: I'm huuuunnngrrryyyy.  
Touga: Cool! D She's gonna STARVE to death!  
Anthy: Oh don't worry, Touga. We have DeeMix Downs. o.o Touga: T.T Why cruel fate?  
Utena: o.O I thought they were called Pheonix Downs.  
Anthy: they are, but we have to be original.  
Utena: ::looks to readers:: of course. So! D Who's got an idea how to get out of the darkness?  
Miki: Oh, don't be so poetic, Miss Utena.  
Utena: oo; No, Miki, I mean, we're really shrouded in darkness. The light bulbs for the fire torches are out.  
Miki: o.o I see.  
Saionji: CCCOOOOOWWW! ::calls for rubber cow::  
Utena: x.X It's a rubber cow, Saionji, it's not going to-  
Pink Happy Rubber Cow: MOOOOO!  
Utena: ...Call.....back.  
Anthy: ::jumps on the Rubber Cow:: GIDDYAP! D  
Pink Happy Rubber Cow: MOOOOO!!!!!! ::runs towards everyone:  
Nanami: D MOOO!!!! ::tells Rubber Cow to stop:  
Pink Happy Rubber Cow: ::stops immediately and flings Anthy off of him:  
Anthy: WAH! ::lassos the cow:: Booyah! xD  
Utena: D ::plays rodeo music while Anthy lassos:  
Juri: OOOOOHHHH WHO LIVES IN A PINEAPPLE UNDER THE SEA?  
Saionji: SQUUEESQUUEEESQUUEEEESQUUEE!  
Juri: I'm sorry, Saionji. Squeesquee Squeesquee is wrong. You ARE the weakest link-goodbye! ::presses a button and Saionji falls into a bottomless pit:: Cool! D I didn't know the castle had one of those! ::presses it again and she falls into the bottomless pit:: Oh! Hey Saionji! D  
---Would you like to save?---  
>Yes  
No  
Maybe  
So

----------------------------------  
CLICK!

YAY! Finally finished this chapter. Dont hit me! . I'm so sorry for not updating in a while, my beloved fans! TT with school going on, it's hard to get stuff done. Oh. And yes. I leave you with a cliffhanger for now. BWAHHA!


	8. Return of the Cow

WHHEEE! I'm back! D Finally ready to get these guys out of Tuffle Town::gonk: Hope you enjoy this fic, and I'll try not to make make my fic look weird! xD Disclaimer by Touga: Yo, there pretty ladies. I'm sure you all think I'm a dork in this fanfic, but please. You know how I am. x3 My long beautiful flowy hair and smexxeh blue-green eyes, my lean build, my gorgeous muscles, my-  
Tiffy-chan: TOUGA! Disclaimer please. We don't want to know about you.  
Touga: ...of course you do. You just don't want to admit it.  
Tiffy-chan: Disclaimer. :pulls out a beehive: Unless you watch to have red blotches over your "beautiful body". Touga: ;o; YES MA'AM! TIFFY-CHAN OWNS NO ONE IN THIS FANFIC UNLESS THEY ARE NPCS! ALL UTENA CHARACTERS BELONG TO BE-PAPAS! TIFFY-CHAN IS AN ALMIGHTY QUEEN THAT STABS-ER-ADORES HER LOVING FANS AND WILL ALWAYS RULE THE UNIVERSE! IM WEARING PANTIES! I HAD COLD PIZZA FOR BREAKFAST THIS MORNING! MY SOCIAL SECURITY NUMBER IS -  
Tiffy-chan: o.O Stop! Too much info, Touga. ee And... o.O was the all caps needed? Touga: No. I just wanted to put them on though.  
Tiffy-chan: yyyeaahhh... o.o Okay. I like it. Now! Readies! Or.. um... I'll do something horrific. o.o ------------------------------------------

Utena::takes one step on her way back to Wuzzy Happy Akio Town:  
!RANDOM ENCOUNTER:  
BUNNA BUNNA!  
Anthy: Bunna Bunna? Saionji: Bunna Bunna. Touga: Bunna Bunna! Nanami: Bunna... Bunna?  
Akio: BUNNA BUNN-  
Utena: STOP! o.o Goodness. Stop with the bunnabunnas. Anthy::giggles: bunnabunnas. xD Miki::giggles with Anthy: Bunnabunna! AHAHHAH! BUNNABUNNA::laughs loudly: BUNNABUNNA!  
Utena: M-Miki.  
Miki: AHAHHAHAHA!  
Utena: Miki!  
Miki: AHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA!  
Utena: MIIKKIII!  
Miki: o.o; Yes, Miss Tenjou?  
Utena: oo Stop. With. The. Bunnabunnas.  
Rubber Cow: Buuunnaaabuuunnnaaaaaaa... Moo.  
Anthy: BunnaBunnaMooMoo. Utena: ... SHUT UP, MISTER PANCAKE NOODLE!  
Touga: Wow, the author is really random today. oO; Anthy: Aye, that she is, mate. Miki: True, dawg.  
Juri: Um... can we just please get on to Sir Cheetoh? You all are crazy. oo; Miki: What! Chu ain't feelin' it, home dawg! Juri: ... ;o; feeling what? Miki: Fo'get it. Anthy: ANYWAYS::giggle: Let's go take this pink happy rubber cow of great happy sadness to Sir Cheetoh! Mikage: Aw, but I'm hungry.. :smirks at cow:  
Anthy: O.O YOU CANNOT EAT THE PINK HAPPY RUBBER COW OF GREAT HAPPY SADNESS!  
Mikage: xO And why not?  
Anthy: Because. Utena: Because, because, because, because, because! Because of the wonderful things it does. :D Touga::plays the little flute diddy at the end of the song: Anthy: We're off to see Sir Cheetoh! The most wonderful cheetoh of all!  
Juri: The most wonderful cheetoh...? Anthy: The most wonderful cheetoh of all!  
Mamiya:D :plays little flute diddy :  
Anthy: .  
Mamiya:D :plays flute:  
Utena::shoves a grape into Mamiya's flute, creating a very bad note:  
Mamiya: ;o;  
Akio: Is the author drunk or something?  
Miki: Naw, homie. Akio: ...Then why is she so crazy? oo;  
Miki: Because.  
Utena: Because, because, because, because, becaauuuussss-  
Juri::hits Utena with a frying pan:  
Utena: OW! Anthy: oo; ... :kicks Utena: Get up.  
Utena: .  
Anthy: xO MISS UTENA::kicks harder: GETUPGETUPGETUPGETUP!  
Utena: .  
Touga: Oh. One second. :gets a plotion and revives Utena:  
Anthy: oo; But plotions just heal you.  
Touga: No they don't. :D Potions do. Plotions heal AND revive.  
Miki: Oooohhh... Saionji: D My idea. :patents:  
Utena: Now... ONWARD::marches on towards Sir Cheetoh in Tuffle Town:  
Anthy: Tufffllleeee... Truffflleeee.  
Miki: Truffle. :O Juri: ...Truffle? ;o;  
Random Encounter Monster: Uh.. guys? You gotta fight us first.  
Nanami: Where'd you come from?  
Random Encounter Monster: I've been here the entire time! Remember:::!!!!RANDOM ENCOUNTER: Bunna Bunna. Utena: Oh...Heh. Alrighty then. Anthy: Um... :thwacks them with her weapon, Waffle Syrup Wand:  
Random Encounter Monster: AHHHHHHHHHHHH::dies:  
Anthy: ... but I only hit it for 42.  
Utena: Cheat codes. Insta-death. :D Saionji: How the heck did you install those? Utena: Dunno. It sorta feels like there's some greater power controlling every move I ever do. Like.. like we're just data in a disc inside of an electronic appliance, and there's a controller plugged into it, with a gamer controlling us.  
Akio: ...How specific.  
Anthy: Coincidence?  
Miki: More like conspiracy.  
Touga: DUNNA DUNNA!  
Saionji: Dunna Dunna?  
Anthy: Dunna Dunna. :D Nanami: Dunna... Dunna?  
Utena: NUUUUU!  
-  
In... TRUF-er-TUFFLE TOWN ------------------------

Utena: Wow. :D That was fast.  
Anthy: Really. Utena::walks up to Stuv, the guard:  
Touga::waves and winks at Stuv: 3 Stuv: 3 Hello, Touga! You and your party may pass, but you still suck at everything.  
Rubber Cow::steps on Stuv's toe:  
Stuv:D Utena: oo;  
Stuv:D Anthy: I think all of his NPC talk has been completed. Now he just says the same thing over again. Stuv:D Utena: ... okay. Well::stomps into the castle and goes to the green square in the middle of the room:  
Anthy: That's so convenient. Utena:D It is.  
:fades out into black:  
Utena: What the- Hey! I can't see!  
Anthy: Shh! It's just a cut scene. Shut up.  
Utena: Yes, Miss Himemiya.. HEY WAIT A MINUTE!  
Everyone besides Utena: SHH!  
Utena: Okay, okay::shuts up: Announcer: Aaalllllllllrrrrrrrrrrriiiiiiiiigggggggggggghhhhhhhhhttttttttttt, eeeeeeeeeeeeeeevvvvvvvvveeeeeeeeerrrrrrrryyyyyyyyyoooooonnnnneeeeeee! Stand up and throw your hands together foooo-  
Utena: yeah, yeah, we know, we know. xP Sir Cheetoh::rushes out expecting a humungous crowd: Yo, yo yo yo...! Mah homie dawgz what is up in the hizzhouse! Hey.. where'd everyone go? ;o; STOVY!  
Stov/Announcer: Yes, milord?  
Sir Cheetoh: ;.; where is everyone?  
Stov::points to Utena and company: Pretty girls. Pretty boys. Pretty pretty. Anthy: Pretty pretty?  
Stov: Pretty pretty.  
Juri: heeyy... :O Aren't you Stuv!  
Stov: NO! I am Stov. Stuv's second cousin's wife's mother's aunt's caretaker's fiance's fourth cousin twice removed. :D Utena: ... Oh. Anthy: Wha?  
Juri:D You're cute.  
Touga: HE LOOKS JUST LIKE STUV!  
Saionji::squeals and hugs Stov:  
Stov: Aye, there's also Stiv, Stav, Stev, Stweev, Stwiv, Stwav, Stwuv, Sav, Sov, Suv, Siv, Sev, and Joe.  
Utena: Are they his brothers? Stov: No. :D Boyfriends. Miki: I envy that player.  
Nanami: Shizzle. Sir Cheetoh: OH! MY RUBBER COW! Rubber Cow: Daddy::runs towards Cheetoh:  
Utena: ... daddy? Sir Cheetoh: SONNY::runs towards Rubber Cow:  
Anthy: ...sonny?  
Saionji: OH! Like the restaurant! Miki: No, you dimwit. :thwaps Saionji, then realizes he hit him with his stopwatch and his stopwatch breaks: ...:gasp: Anthy: Oh my.  
Miki::holds the stopwatch in his arms as it begins to storm, screaming up to the sky: NNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO::dramatic music:  
Juri: ... but we're indoors... D:  
Anthy::pulls out blue umbrella from vortex pocket: HAH! Take that, you silly little color-coder! You expected me to take out a PURPLE umbrella, didn't you! Or perhaps a red umbrella with green frills! Well NO SIRE! NOT ME!  
Utena: oo; ... ANTHY!  
Anthy: ...humph. :puts umbrella over her head as rain stops: .  
Touga: WELL I guess we're all done here:D Can I go out with Stuv now?  
Utena: Yeah, sure.  
Nanami: NNNUUUU! BWAHHAHAH! YOU CANNOT!  
Touga: oo; ...Why?  
Nanami: BECAUSE, BROTHER! I...STABBED HIM::cackle:  
Touga: I frown upon this. :frown: Nanami! You can't kill an NPC! Thats just not done!  
Nanami: Uh-huh! Yes it is! It's done all the time! Anthy: She has a point. :3 Utena: Well, we can go take him somewhere to get revived, right?  
Saionji: Once an NPC is dead, it's dead. We're special. We're PLAYABLE.  
Miki::sniffle: Well I for one- :screen fades out: ...don't...Why'd the screen turn off?  
Utena: Oh. It must be trying to ask us to save.  
Save Woman: Would you like to save your game?  
Utena: Yeah, sure.  
Save Woman: INSERT 50 CENTS TO SAVE YOUR GAME.  
Utena: ..The heck? It never cost anything before!  
Save Woman: We're low on money. Now! INSERT 50 CENTS TO SAVE YOUR GAME.  
Utena: Fine, fine::inserts 50 cents:  
-  
Slot 1-  
Slot 2-  
-  
TIME - I know a-  
LOCATION - song that gets on-  
CHARACTERS- everybody's nerves and-  
DISC - this is how it goes-  
-  
Whee! I'm finished for now. Sorry it took so long. With school, I haven't had much time to work on it. R/R my beloved fans! 


End file.
